Since becoming a new mom I’ve found my time seems to escape me. Or rather, my time simply isn’t my own anymore. I’m constantly focusing on everything that needs to be done – as well as the manner, time and circumstances it has to be done in – for the picture in my head to work out the way I want it to.
But all too often (most days lately) it just doesn’t go as planned. The result is that for a while now I’ve allowed that to largely influence my day, my planning and most of all, my running.
“Perfection is a virus, a tumor, a growth it infect the mind of the person it attaches itself to, until it eventually destroys the host.” – Prince Ea
We all have a picture in our minds of how we expect our run to go, our day to start or to end. Some of us need to start our day with a run, to set the tone for a successful day. Others need their runs to shut down their days. Either way we set standards for ourselves, general margins of error that we are willing to allow to influence us before we feel like it has all just been a waste.
For me, not getting enough sleep at night largely influences my run. It leads to mental exhaustion that clouds my judgement and makes me think that it’s not possible for me to go for a run. Something that makes me feel like I’m too tired to train. While in actual fact I’m fine. And indeed, my run is the thing that I need to make my day ‘perfect’ in its own way.
But perfection…
As humans we focus so much on this word perfect. Too much. Whether it’s our own type of perfect or that of standards prescribed by society. After watching a video by Prince Ea I realised that I have to stop focusing on everything that goes wrong and just focus on going with the flow – to adapt to the situation, accept it for what it is and move forward.
So some days I’ll run tired and some days I’ll run energised. The idea is to adapt my training to my lifestyle, the lifestyle that I have now – as new mom – not the one I used to have. This means to just give myself a break some days, because my idea of perfect is not gonna happen. Not with JHB traffic, and especially not with a baby.
I’m going to stop focusing on this idea that I have in my head of how things should happen, because that makes me feel like a failure. It makes me feel like I’m not achieving what I should, and, like Prince Ea says in the video: “Perfection is a virus, a tumor, a growth it infect the mind of the person it attaches itself to, until it eventually destroys the host.”
So let’s stop focusing on something that doesn’t exist and lets focus on what’s happening now, and lets live a little more in the moment.
“Have no fear of perfection, Because you’ll never reach it!” – Salvador dali
So, going forward I’m going to enjoy my run because I love running and it exhilarates me every time. On some days I will run a pace of 5:30 and on others 8:00. I’ll accept both because going for a run – in spite of all the things that can go wrong – is what makes me, me.
